Should your officiant be at your wedding rehearsal?
Many couples ask if I will be attend the rehearsal before the wedding day. There seem to be two schools of thought on this. Sure, there are certainly benefits to having some time to meet your parents, your wedding party, and other important players. However, the purpose of the rehearsal is to teach those important players how to process, where they will stand, and how to recess back up the aisle after the ceremony. The officiant's job in this is easy, and something that does not require a rehearsal to get right.
We don't usually process.
Most of the time, we will be giving some sort of pre-ceremony announcement before the wedding party processes up the aisle. That means we don't process with the wedding party to begin with. We're already in position, a position in which we will stay for pretty much the entire ceremony. Even if we do process, we're almost invariably the first one in, and we go to the same spot every time. There have been no variations on that in any of the hundreds of weddings I have performed. So, there's no reason for the officiant to rehearse this. After the ceremony, it doesn't really matter if we recess at all. If we do, we're always last. Again, this isn't something that requires any sort of practice. We've done it before, hundreds of times.
We might not even be available.
Most often, a rehearsal is done a day or two before a wedding date. On some occasions it's done an hour or so before the ceremony, and if we happen to be there, we're happy to participate even though we're not really needed. But, if your rehearsal is on a different day than your wedding, we might not be available. I always strive to make my couples feel like they are the most important people in the world that day. That said, every couple I marry is most important to me, even when I marry more than one couple in a day. Yes, this happens. I've married as many as three in a day. If your wedding falls on a weekend, especially a Saturday or Sunday, the day before your wedding I will very likely be performing this service for another couple. So, I might not be able to come to your rehearsal to begin with.
Save your money.
Unless your rehearsal is in my town, I'm spending time and travel costs to get to your location. I marry couples often who are well over an hour away, because I serve a large area covering five states: NJ, PA, DE, NY, and MD. The expense it would cost to come down and be there for your rehearsal is one that would be passed along to you. Don't waste your money paying me to travel down to your rehearsal, just to have me walk up the aisle and stand. I give you my assurance, I can do that very well without you having to hire me to come practice it. Your money is much better spent elsewhere.
To summarize, while I do sincerely enjoy meeting my couples, their friends, and their family, and as much fun as I would have with all of you, it just doesn't make financial sense to pay me to come down for a rehearsal. I always arrive early to help out, meet everybody, and enjoy the celebration with you.
